Adoptions of Indiana

Guest Blog: Prospective Adoptive Parents Emotionally Scamming Birth Mothers by Committing to Multiple Birthmothers

Submitted by GuestBlogger on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 19:47

Bobby Binko shared great thoughts on the topic: “Should Prospective Adoptive Parents Commit to Multiple Birthmothers?” Bobby gave Adoption Under One Roof permission to reprint the comment made at the yahoo adoptionscam group, noting that “they are, in fact, my opinions, and not facts, nor me preaching.” Bobby is a PAP, Potential Adoptive Parent. My partner and I, together for over 16 years, reside in south central Pennsylvania and have been working towards adoption for the last four years. We have been in our agency's waiting pool for 3 1/2 years.

I disagree. It is just as deceitful [as a birthmother pretending to place.] When a PAP is working with three or four bmoms at a time, they are manipulating lives. They are leading three of those bmoms to believe that they are building a relationship with their childs adoptive family. Only to be dumped like garbage if they happen to not be the first one to go into labor.

Guest Blog: Artificial twinning, False Twinning, Virtual Twinning, Pseudo-twinning, Committing to Multiple Birthmothers

Submitted by GuestBlogger on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:26

Meg Sterchi, ACSW, LCSW, is an adoption professional. She is the Executive Director of Adoptions of Indiana. She posted the following response to the question: “Should Prospective Adoptive Parents Commit to Multiple Birthmothers?” She gave Adoption Under One Roof permission to reprint her comment, along with her personal desire: “I would like more couples/families to think deeply while pursuing an adoptive placement.” This comment is for those considering adoption of newborns or infants that are less than eight months apart in age. This does not apply to those adopting older children who are close in age.

It has been difficult for me to read these recent posts about multiple matches and placements of children. Adoption professionals should always be looking out for the ethics of the situation, and what is in the best interests of the child/ren. There has been research on the issue of "artificial twinning" and it has shown that it is not in the best interest of the child. The stress in these families is high and having comparisons throughout the child's life is very difficult, especially when they are genetically unrelated.