Patricia Dischler is the author of "Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View of Open Adoption", a speaker, child care professional and birthmother. Read more from Patricia here.

I recently saw the movie “Blind Side” with my husband. Aside from the great message that when a child is given the chance, they can go on to successful lives, I was particularly touched by one scene. The mother in the family that took in the boy, Leigh Anne Touhy, played beautifully by Sandra Bullock, has decided she wants to gain guardianship of Michael. But before doing so, Leigh Anne finds his mother. This scene not only took me by surprise, it left me examining my own feelings of respect towards birthmothers.

The boy’s mother is a drug addict. It’s why she lost him to foster care when he was young, and it’s a world she is still emerged in when the woman finds her. Leigh Anne enters this woman’s home, which is strewn with garbage and drug paraphernalia. Leigh Anne sits, and talks with her about her son and how he’s doing. Then, rather than get to the point and tell her she wants guardianship, she offers to bring Michael there so his mother can see him again. The mother declines, saying it’s not how she wants him to remember her. Then Leigh Anne tells her that anytime she wants to see him she should just let her know. Finally, Leigh Anne tells her she would like guardianship. The mother agrees, but is visibly shaken, a combination of regrets, shame, longing, and love hang in the air. Leigh Anne quietly moves to sit next to her, and simply takes her hand. No more words are said. It is a powerful moment.

I realize this was just a movie, albeit that it is based on a true story, I have no idea if that particular scene is exactly how it really happened. But I would hope it is. What really hit me was the ability of Leigh Anne to show respect for this mother, despite the fact that she had made terrible choices as a parent. I often talk about showing respect for birthmothers, and I’ve encountered some adoptive parents who find this very difficult in the face of birthparents with drug abuse and other serious issues. And I’ll be honest, I would think it would be difficult for me to show respect in these cases as well. But I’d hope that when it came down to it, for the sake of the child, I’d do it.

To be continued…

Reprinted with permission from the "KIDSAKE Newsletter," an ezine featuring information for anyone touched by adoption. Subscribe here.