On Trauma Tuesday, I talked about dissociation and the traumatized adopted child. For Trauma Thursday, I am going to share some tips for helping a traumatized adopted child to stop dissociating.

Dissociation is a defense mechanism that helps a traumatized adopted child to “flee” into his own head to avoid painful realities. The ability to dissociate comes in handy when you are being traumatized through abuse or neglect on a regular basis. However, dissociation can interfere with a traumatized adopted child’s day-to-day life if he is constantly “checking out” every time something triggers his pain from the trauma.

The long-term goal is to teach a traumatized adopted child to “stay present” in his body, even when he becomes upset. This is not going to happen until the traumatized adopted child feels safe. So, the first step toward teaching the traumatized adopted child to stop dissociating is to provide him with a safe environment. The second step is to help him recognize that his safe environment really is safe.

Once the traumatized adopted child begins to feel a level of safety, then you can introduce exercises to help the child stop dissociating. The key is to have the child do something that helps him focus on the present moment. One of the best ways to do this is to engage one or more of the child’s senses. Some people grab onto the chair they are sitting on and focus on the feel of the wood or other material. Others will hold an ice cube in their hands and focus on how cold the ice is.

Playing the piano has always worked for me. When I am playing the piano, there is no past or future, only now. Going for a walk to clear my head, particularly in a park, also does wonders to help me stop dissociating. I focus on the beauty of the trees and other wonders of nature, and I feel safe enough to “return to my body.”

You can also try talking to the traumatized adopted child while he is dissociating. Tell him that he is safe and that you will always keep him safe. Traumatized adopted children dissociate when they feel unsafe, so you want to send them messages of safety. Tell them that they are living in a safe house. They have their own room in their own house, and they are safe. Hearing the words “safe” and “safety” repeatedly can do wonders to help the traumatized adopted child start to accept that he really is safe now.

Related topics:

• How to Stop Dissociation After Childhood Abuse
• Highway Hypnosis

Photo credit: JulieC