Gifts & Books
Recent blog posts
- Does Every Adoptee Have Issues?
- Mamas Write Anthology
- Teaching Your Child To Meditate
- Talking With Other Adoptive Parents
- We Are Back
- My Niece The Swimmer
- Elephant Bird -- Some Thoughts on Adoption in Dr. Seuss
- Interview With Cooperative For Education
- At Long Last, My Daughter Sleeps In Her Own Bed
- New Years Resolution: Less Talk
- Thank you Lisa! Our group is
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- Thank you, Jessica. I also
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Recently an acquaintance told me that her husband does not believe that their adoptive son’s problems have anything to do with the fact that he is adopted – she disagrees. I do as well.
When we adopt an infant, we hope there will be fewer psychological issues related to adoption, or perhaps even none. Adoption specialists tell us that the younger a child is adopted the better. Children adopted as infants or young toddlers only understand their adoption at the “gut” level when they learn about reproduction. Before that, their adoption story is just that – a story. But although a child adopted at infancy has no memory of being adopted, maturity and awareness eventually give rise to questions. For example, on the simplest level an adopted child putting two plus two together may think or voice this concern: “I was given away once so maybe it could happen again.” Children who are insecure, sensitive and have low self-esteem can find it even harder to be adopted.
I belong to a writing group called the Write On Mamas, and we have self-published our first anthology, titled Mamas Write. The essay I contributed, “The Mother in the Square,” is set in Antigua, Guatemala.
This article in the North Bay Bohemian, about the group and anthology, features a beautiful piece of writing by my friend and fellow adoptive mom to a son from Guatemala, Teri Stevens. Read through to the end of the article for Teri’s very moving piece, “There Was a Before.”
Mamas Write is now available in England, apparently, on Amazon, and soon at select bookstores and on Amazon in the US. Exciting!
If you have a child who is a worrier and fretter, or like most children leads a hectic life, meditation (mindful practice) can help improve focus, concentration and more importantly, bring about calm and peace of mind. With more teens and young adults being medicated for anxiety and depression, teaching meditation at an early age might give a child a useful tool for daily challenges and challenges that lay ahead.
If you do not already practice meditation, you can learn together with your child. Meditation can do no harm, needs no special equipment and can be done in your home. This is not a comprehensive description of how to meditate, but it is a good start.
So how do we go about meditating?
It has been over two months since I last saw my friend Pam, but I think we managed to catch up on each other’s lives in the two hours we had together recently. After she left I realized how much I missed chatting with her. Both of us have adult biological children and younger children through adoption from Guatemala - we have a lot in common and a lot to discuss.
My friend often says that she never worried about her four biological children the way she worries about her adopted children. I concur. Without a doubt, our adopted children face challenges our biological child did not. Even though we are not new parents, parenting tools we used with our biological children don’t work with our adopted children.